As a fan of any artist, I often feel grateful for the art I can freely consume, analyze artistically and engage in. In exchange, I’ve accepted the fact that public art is very often influenced by real life & real relationships. This acceptance of the artist with all their personal colors, mistakes and flaw is the (additional) price we pay for this often very affordable art.

Taylor Swift’s gift of making beautiful art from personal details is also her gift to the world. She has stated explicitly that she believes her storytelling talent is the niche that made her so successful. She is also known for writing all of her music mostly by herself or with few others. And it’s safe to assume that many of her lyrics are inspired by real life and love, partly confirmed by herself.

But then many of us go ahead lamenting and judging her personal choices in love and life. I’m not talking about analyzing her lyrics from a creative and artistic standpoint. I’m talking about the entitlement to judge and know more. I’ve read one too many – sometimes pretty cruel – Redditers voice their disappointment in how she hasn’t grown after all after the depth of folklore, or how she must have cheated on her ex-partner with her new affair/partner, or gotten bored of him, or – unsurprisingly – how a new rumored love affair must be fueled by creative desires for new music. Another argument goes that when artists write romantic, sexual, detailed and otherwise personal song lyrics heard by millions around the world, we even have a moral right to analyze them and search for clues in order to complete the picture and attain information about what really happened behind the scenes romantically. If the artist evidently writes their own lyrics and shares personal thoughts and experiences, don’t we have a right to this speculation?

I don’t see a causal link here between an artist’s personal life and our right to know about it in detail. They’re just two things that coexist; one doesn’t justify the other. Swift has been writing about her personal experiences since she was a kid. Why would or should she change her writing approach, style, inspiration and proclivity to mysterious details just so that she can justify asking for privacy? In fact, I think her continuing to write about her personal life is nothing but integrity.

Personally, I enjoy gossip as much as the next human being, but I find there’s a gigantic difference between keeping thoughts in your head or between friends, and voicing them publicly for everyone to read and hear about, fueling public judgement and even harassment (WTH?). But that’s also beside the point.

I’m just listening to that beautiful piece of art that is Lavender Haze, both song and music video. I can relate to every single line of that song in my own personal context and relationship. I’m so thankful that for the past 6 years Swift wrote countless songs about a man she was in love with, allowing me to draw parallels to my own relationship(s). I find that one of the most exciting things in life is connecting to a very specific feeling or description written by a stranger, and finding out it perfectly applies to my own life. It just makes me so happy! Like, finally someone says out loud what I’m feeling. More than going easter egg hunting about Taylor Swift’s life and music, I like to go easter egg hunting about parallels to my own life and love.

I mean:

You don’t ever say too much and you don’t really read into my melancholia.

and

No deal, the 1950s shit they want from me, I just wanna stay in that lavender haze.

or

Levitate above all the messes made, sit quiet by my side in the shade, and not the kind that’s thrown, I mean the kind under where a tree has grown

And probably my favorite love line ever: All these people think love’s for show, but I would die for you in secret.

_{Girl. 😭}

But here’s the thing: Technically, despite their possible veracity, none of her lyrics are information – they are art. The difference is this: one day, her personal feelings that used to inspire a particular song’s lyrics will change because of personal growth. But even then, that piece of art will continue existing. It doesn’t become less artistic because it’s lost its veracity. Maybe it was never true to begin with, but does that matter? It’s just a perfectly fine piece of art that she had a reason to write, and I can still relate to.

My point is that music and lyrics are literally all I want and need from Taylor Swift. She’s gifting us beautiful music because it’s crafted around her personal life – not regardless of it. And what if, one day, she decides that all that public and speculative judging of her choices and love life is just too much and she’ll stop making music as a result because it all becomes too much? Because what if she can’t make music if it’s not inspired by real life?

I don’t think this is very unlikely. She’s talked vaguely in the past and explicitly in her lyrics about her mental health struggles and being canceled by Kim K fans and other instances of being targeted verbally in the public eye. Once we force ourselves into another person’s private life because they shared their art with us, we’re risking less openness from artists in the long run.

None of us know Taylor Swift beyond our often parasocial connection to her. We think we do. But we don’t. We mostly don’t know any verified details about the conversations, views, attitudes, habits and fights she has in her relationships. Imagine a ton of strangers weighing in on your personal relationship – on top of the pain of breaking up. This gives me flashbacks to my lowest mental moments and I’d very much not like to return there or wish that upon anyone. Why do we do it to the very artist whose art we claim we love so much? Why do we do it to someone we don’t even know?

Artists give us so much to distract us from the pain of life. I’m happy to grant them privacy in return for their gems. It’s enough for me.